Is life the same after kids?

The most common question I get asked believe it or not is, “Has your life changed much after having your child?” and my answer to that question is yes. Of course it has. Only for the better though. To have a baby is a big decision to make at any age. Even if you’re planning to have one let alone if it was to come as a surprise. In this post I’ve put together a few things that have changed for me after having my child.

Body
Now this is pretty obvious because of course your body is going to change… You’ve just grew & had a baby! But I thought my body was like a balloon that if you blew it up and once it popped it’d go down. That never happened for me and boy do I wish it did! but whilst I was pregnant with Jake my bump didn’t show at all till I was 28 weeks pregnant then after I had Jake my tummy did go down quite a lot but now I’m suffering with the aftermath and the voices in my head telling me I need to loose weight, I need to stop eating certain foods, I need to calorie count etc… Basically its become uncontrollable.
But nowadays especially with social media I’m finding there’s a lot of pressure and stigma on mum’s to hurry and get fit! ‘Get that summer body’ and if you’re not slim then you’re not good enough to be in a bikini and it’s really sad to see that, that is the society we live in now.

Sleep
Again this is an obvious one and I wont go on about it too much as I always mention this but we all know by now that if you have a baby you’re not going to sleep and that’s it.
Even when that baby grows into a toddler you’re never going to be able to sleep in till 1pm like you use to.

Personal Space
This one I have to have my personal space especially baths etc… I have never had a bath or shower with Jake and don’t intend to either not because I disagree with the idea but because it’s just me I’d rather get in and get out and not have to worry about a small person! Where as the toilet situation they’re going in there with you no matter what you do. Toddlers are like ninjas because they always find their way in.
The worse part is where you have to go into a public toilet and instead of a bolt lock they have a lock which slides and it’s a race against time between you going to the toilet and the child working out how to unlock it before the whole of you is on display!
(Yeah that’s always a barrel of laughs!)

Bank Balance
You think you had money problems before having kids then that’s nothing compared to when you do have kids as they literally bleed you dry.
That toy you don’t want them to have? They’ll find a way of getting it even if it means ‘Accidentally walking out of the store with it’.
The cute outfits every season!, Halloween? Got to get a cute outfit. Christmas? better get an outfit!.
The trouble is that it doesn’t get cheaper if anything it gets more expensive. The Nike trainers because they looked cool well he’s out grown them.

Timekeeping
Remember when you was either too early for an appointment well now you’re worrying you’re going to be late because the child plays up and wont get their shoes on or they’ve all of a sudden lost their coat and shoes. Or if your child is the same age as Jake then you yourself will know the battle of dressing the child etc. Especially now that Jake goes to nursery I know it’s only nursery and it’s not actual school yet but to me it’s prepping Jake ready for school so by the time Jake has to be in school on time I would like to think that I would be prepared.

So there we go a few things to prepare yourself mentally but I wouldn’t have it any other way now! 🙂

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The day that everything changed!

There’s been a reason to why I have been abit quiet recently this is due to spending more time with my son and keeping an eye on him etc. as lately I haven’t been able to stop myself looking at him with worry because on The 2nd of November 2017… The day that everything changed, Jake was rushed to hospital due to him having a fit. We all think that this is linked to epilepsy as everyone knows as its no secret that I have it and have had it since I was 6/7.
But…What happens when you think your child has a disability that you have yourself?
Do you blame yourself? the guilt eating up at you, The anxiety becoming worse because you’re scared to even look away just for one second. Because that’s all it takes don’t it?
Being a sufferer of epilepsy mine was inherited from a family member but what do you do when you think your child has it?.

I spent the 2nd of November in hospital with Jake because at 1:18pm he had a seizure.


It was safe to say I was besides myself because no matter what I did Jake wouldn’t wake up and I thought that was it. Even when I was pregnant with Jake I always had the worry of Jake inheriting epilepsy and even expressed my concerns with the doctors etc.
The doctors said that I would notice it but I wouldn’t have to notice any signs till Jake was at least 4/5. I guess you can say that I do feel guilty and I do feel as if its my fault because I shouldn’t have listened to the doctors. But one thing I have noticed a change in is myself… I’m always snapping at people especially my family (Apart from Jake), I cant have a simple conversation without coming across abrupt.
But what can I do?

I have to say that this post has been my most difficult one to write let alone thinking I would even have to write a post like this.
The question still stands though, Does my child have epilepsy?
We wont know till 6 months time when Jake has a routine check up and a brain scan.

Neighbour from hell!

We all have that one neighbour from hell right? Or is it just me?

When I moved into the home of my dreams, the home that I had been waiting for, the home that Jake would grow up in, make memories in. Well that dream finally came true and then that dream was soon short lived when I started to have problems from the neighbour upstairs.

When I went to view mine and jakes home I never knew that anyone had lived above me as the set up in my home is a set up of a house. The estate agents didn’t even tell me that anyone was living above me either they also forgot to mention that there is no sound proofing. Anyway, at first the neighbour upstairs didn’t bother me as everyone has the right to feel comfortable in their own home right? Well I don’t get that luxury.

It all started when the neighbour upstairs decided to have parties and loud music on from 12 midnight to 7am. Now you would think well that’s understandable for a weekend also it’s okay for the neighbour as he’s only in his teens… well you’re wrong because the neighbour isn’t in his teens and it doesn’t happen on a weekend either. The neighbour is in his late 40’s, also has a daughter of his own (doesn’t live with him) and the music etc always happens during the week when I have to get up early as Jake goes to nursery. Now you’re probably thinking well he probably doesn’t know you have a child, maybe if he knew he would stop. Again you’re wrong, he knows how young Jake is let alone Jake isn’t well and is teething so with all of this going on I’m not getting much sleep and can’t believe how I’m still functioning.

Now the advice I’m getting from people is “why don’t you call the police?” “Why don’t you just move?” “Why don’t you go round there?”. The answer to all of those questions are

1.I have rung the police and they have said they don’t deal with noise complaints anymore you have to go through your council etc… that I did and have recorded it and still waiting for something to be done.

2.Both my mum and my dad went round there three times explained to him and all three times he said he would but still does. His excuse to my parents for the loud noise throughout night is for myself to wear earplugs and also he owns his place so basically he can do what he likes. Yes I know the response is disgusting.

3.I can’t just up and leave my place as yes this may come as a shock to some of you as because I’m a single mum I’m suppose to have a council house right? Well no I privately rent my place so I can’t just up and leave!.

But at this point I really don’t know what to do anymore he’s even brainwashed his next door neighbour who has only just moved in not only 2 seconds and now she’s telling me what to do and not to by telling me to ‘shut the gate’ which I can understand and I do myself as it draws less attention to which I like. But she also had the nerve to use my son, my Jake as an excuse that she doesn’t want him to escape from my home to then run out because the gate has been left open… unless my son is a genius that won’t be happening anytime soon not only that she’s branding me to be a bad mum and thinking I leave my son unattended… uhm no I do not, I lock my front door just so Jake can’t get out.

All of this has happened since April! And I’m hoping that will end soon.

If you have had terrible times with a neighbour what did you do about it? How did you handle it?

Five stupid things I’ve said.

We all know how annoying it can be to receive parenting advice especially from people who don’t have kids yet, Even if they mean well.
But what about the advice and promises we made ourselves before becoming a mother.
I have put together five stupid things I have said to people and myself and not stuck to it. Enjoy!

  1. My child will NOT be using technology till he is old enough to know what is what…Well guess what he uses the iPad, He uses my phone and he is only 16 months old.
  2. I will love spending time with my child all day everyday.
    Uhm… As much as I love spending time with Jake He’s at that age where he wont listen no matter how much you repeat yourself. So a break every now and then is definitely due but the only time I have apart from Jake is 4 Hours twice a week when he’s at nursery.
  3. Life will be easy and perfect when I have a baby.
    Far bloody from it. There’s always drama’s not with the child but with people wanting to see my child or whoever don’t bother with my child.
  4. I’m scared of my child making a scene in public.
    If your child is going to throw tantrum in public then they’re going to, If they’re going to sit/lay scream in the middle of a supermarket they will.
  5. I don’t want to be a stay at home mum.
    My plan after my maternity leave was up was that I was going to go back to work not because I didn’t want to be around Jake but because I wanted to show him that nothing in life is free and that you have to work for it but that got cut short as I was sacked whilst on maternity leave so once Jake turns 4/5 I will then do what I have always wanted to do and that is find a job in writing!.

What things have you thought or mentioned to other people and have not stuck to it?

Autumn Tag

So it’s finally autumn! Lets kick it off with an autumn post!
I tag… Leah! Where to find her?
Leah’s Twitter
Leah’s Blog

So here’s the questions & My answers…
 When does it feel like the start of autumn for you?
Needing to put a coat on.

What is your favourite autumn scent?
I don’t like the usual ‘pumpkin’ scents but I love the smell of gingerbread & vanilla cupcakes in my candles!.

What is your favourite autumn colour?
Dark red! Hence why my header is that colour!.

What is your favourite autumn drink?
As silly as this sounds I still choose to drink ice coffee in the winter etc but if I had to choose then it would be a hot chocolate!

What TV show/Movie new or old are you looking forward to watching this upcoming months?
I cant wait for I’m a celebrity get me out of here.

What’s your favourite item of clothing to wear during the colder times?
An oversized jumper for me.

What is your favourite thing to do during the colder times?
Sit in front of the TV with a hot drink & blanket!

 What are you a bigger fan of… Halloween or Christmas?
I’m not a big fan of Halloween as I don’t like answering the door at the best of times let alone to strangers. Christmas it is for me!.

So there’s the questions… Over to you Leah!

One Year & Five Months Old.

I thought I would do something fun and different… For me anyway.
I thought this post would be nice to look over pictures and see how much my son has grown and changed into the little lad he is today.

So Here’s a look back from the first day, months to now of what ‘Baby Jake’ looks like!.

Day One…

One Month Old

Two months Old

Three months old

Four months old

Five months old

Six months old

Seven months old

Eight months old

Nine months old

Ten months old

Eleven months old

One Years Old

One year & One month old

One year & Two months old

One year & Three months old

One year & Four months old

One year & Five months old

So there we have it ‘Baby Jake’ – ‘Little Man Jake’ And a catch he is!

What does being a single mother mean?

Before I get into the post a few things need to be said.
Even though I am a single mum I am talking from my experience’s as a single mum I don’t mean harm to all men and look at them as the same. To the men that stuck around thumbs up to you!.

Being a mum is hard. But being a single mum that’s a different story. It can be difficult at times because you’re responsible for whatever happens to your child/children.
You’re there all day and all night, you pay for the food that goes on that table, the clothes, shoes that they need because they’ve out grown, the nursery fee’s, the roof over their head that you’ve provided. All that is just a start and imagine only doing that on one income. Jake’s dad does provide but lets just say its only enough to buy a couple of packets of nappies so you can imagine the struggle I still have.

But even though us single mums have to put up with the good and bad, even if the situation wasn’t what you wanted or even thought would happen to you, you still march through it… So why are single mums judged? Why are single mums given a bad name? because I would happily say to the people that judge “If you want to give it a go, Be my guest”. You wouldn’t even last an hour.
But being a single mum isn’t a bad thing, Just means you get your child/children to yourself. Them cuddles that you use to get jealous over because ‘dad’ would get them well now you get them.

Being a single mum means you give up the whole of you. I don’t get the partner coming home at 5pm wanting to bath the child just so I can chill out after doing the dinner. I never got help during the night because the child was teething and I never go out for fun because I don’t have the time too. The only time I get time to myself is when my child is at nursery 4 hours for 2 days a week and even then I’m doing the housework.

So why should us single mums get the dirty looks, the whole ‘Shouldn’t have kids if you cant handle them’. For me I didn’t choose not to have Jake’s dad around, He chose that himself. Us single mums are allowed good and bad days. 

For all the single mums out there we should be given some credit because at least we stuck around and would do anything for our child/children.