Ok so every parent has their struggles no matter what, whether it’s not getting enough ‘you time’, whether that’s watching the soaps, being able to have a relaxing shower or even being able to do your make up/ play Xbox or PlayStation whilst keeping an eye on your little ones.
Mine happens to be all of them… thank god for grandparents right
- The before and afters. Back when I didn’t have Jake I liked to play the PlayStation, watch tv, go out without having to remember an extra bag to take. Please tell me that its not just me that nearly forgets the extra bag? But this is all part of the fun being a newly parent right? And by the way if you’re thinking I will just read a book on parenting that will have the answers then the answer to that is no they don’t have the answers because a child doesn’t come with an instruction book… I wish it did and I wish they could tell me exactly what they needed as the guessing game to whether they’re teething or they’re hungry isn’t fun.
- The sleeping game! Having 2/4 breaks in your sleep is not an idea of a good sleep and if you think it gets better when they’re over 6 months and suppose to be sleeping through the night then no it doesn’t but I cant say this for every baby as they’re different I’m just talking about Jake. Also when you think it’s okay to get an early night because your baby has managed to sleep at an earlier time then nope… you still end waking up like a zombie this is when caffeine and coffee will become your new bestfriend aswell as your child of course. And if you are lucky enough to have a child that will sleep through the night then your sleep will still never be the same as the worry hangs over your head. Are they okay? should I go check on them?, I wouldn’t want to wake them though. They haven’t woke for a feed, are they hungry?
- Privacy. Having to do everything in front of the child just so you know and the baby knows that you’re both okay, whether that’s having to have a bath together or getting dressed together. My favourite one was being able to eat without anyone staring at me or my food. Yep that all changes because now I’m having to share certain foods I eat just to keep Jake quiet and to stop him from staring at me.
- Socialising. When having a child ‘getting out there’ making friends with newly mums and mums already is always a strain because its not only you that’s socialising its the child having to socialise with other babies too. And even if you have friends already there’s either the ‘no invite’ reasoning behind this because every friend thinks you cant go out because you have a child or if you have an invite then there is the guilt of leaving them. The look on their face of you leaving, them thinking that you’re not going to come back or when you’re out you’re constantly checking with whoever is looking after your child to see if they’re ok. Sometimes you cant even bare to leave the house without your child because your anxiety is so bad that you’ll just be one big mess and just want to leave anyway because in your head you’re probably thinking ‘I’m too boring for them’, ‘they don’t like me already I’m just going to leave and they wont even notice anyway’. Especially having to explain all of this to the health visitor when they invite you to the baby groups so instead of explaining all of your troubles and why you would rather not go you either tell them you have already been and don’t like it or the group is just not for you.
- Going into town or shopping malls with a pushchair. Oh this is the best one! so you’re going into town shopping, clothes shopping etc but you have a pushchair with you… Don’t you think people just love to push, shove you, get underneath the wheels just to see what you will do? I have had this many of times and I will have to say this is one of the main reasons why I would rather stay in than go out because its less stressful rather than having an argument with someone because they wont move out of the way even though knowing that you’re behind them.
There maybe struggles for a new mum or even a mum of a number of children. But the struggle is made of love because no matter what struggle you go through they’re are the ones that will always be there for you in the end because your children are the ones loving you right back.