Why do we care?

I have seen a couple of times on social media’s such as Facebook and Instagram when people upload photo’s of their child/children and they start the caption with ‘Sorry’.
I have been I guess you could say a little guilty of this as if I post more than photo of my son especially on instagram I would use the hashtag (#Babyspam) that’s my way of saying sorry for the numerous amounts of photo’s but then again what am I or we to be sorry for just because we’re sharing what us women have created, Shouldn’t we be proud and do it without having to feel guilty of blocking someone’s news feed up?

We now live in a world where we care too much about what other people think of us women as mothers in general or will that person now delete me/unfollow me because I’m becoming annoying?

I feel since having Jake don’t get me wrong to begin with. I was scared to go out with Jake because having him as a newborn I thought it would really annoy people with him crying out. For example going out for a family meal with a newborn and there’s a couple having a quiet meal wanting to eat in peace then all of a sudden a newborn cries out, that use to make me feel so uncomfortable but having Jake now as a toddler I’d wish I wasn’t so paranoid about people around him when he was a newborn as it’s much more embarrassing going out for meals with him now as he likes to look at people especially when they’re eating then the people think he’s staring at them (No he’s staring at the food!). Or he decides to put his finger up his nose!

The point is that I’m getting at is why do we care so much about what people think and should we take any notice of it?
I try not take as much notice of it but with my mental health etc. it is sometimes a battle but the most common advice I give to people is if they don’t like it then let them unfriend you/unfollow you because if they meant something to you they would have stuck around.

Just do what makes you happy, So I’m going to show you some more of what makes me happy and that’s my little boy!.

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My Mental Health

DISCLAIMER: For those that read this post need to be aware that this contains topics that may be triggering.

It was January 2015 the year I got diagnosed with (BPD) Borderline personality disorder, Depression and Anxiety. For those that don’t know what BPD is it’s where I struggle with the following… 

  1. worried about people abandoning you. 
  2. Very intense emotions such as feeling happy to angry, upset within a few hours/seconds. 
  3. Don’t have a strong sense of who you 
  4. Find it hard to make and keep stable relationships. 
  5. Acting impulsively such as binge eating. 
  6. Suicidal thoughts or behaviour. 
  7. Feeling empty and alone. 

This came after so many years of keeping a secret, If you have read my post To My Younger Self. then you will know that I was sexually assaulted this came to my families attention that what I was doing E.G cutting myself because I felt like I deserved it, how I was reacting wasn’t acceptable nor like me.
It got the point where I was ordered to move back in with my parents as I tried to take my own life this was by ‘overdose’. Since then I have got help such as medical and counselling although that did not make a difference other than wound me up as I had to keep going over the assault. “As if flashbacks weren’t enough”.

Since the help from what was my mental health support worker it worked for as long as a year and after that year I came off of that website as I consider myself strong enough, as for the self harming I have managed to go three years now without having one scratch on me and I am glad that I can finally say that I am strong enough,  as for the medication I am still on now and I don’t think I will ever be able to come off of because when I do I become destructive and angry but going back to my mental health support worker she gave me a website where I could go and vent, The website is only open to those who suffer with mental health illnesses so everyone on that website is in the same position as you and honestly it felt so good to be able to write down how I felt at that time without worrying if my family would see it, friends would see it, people who think I am attention seeking.
Anyway as I was saying just because you have a mental health illness that doesn’t make you any less of a person than what you are now.

Here below is the website I mentioned earlier aswell as some other websites/contacts if you are in need of help.

https://www.elefriends.org.uk/

http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us?gclid=CN_jidCYrNMCFQyeGwod6gwGTg

https://turn2me.org/?gclid=COPXkq-ZrNMCFVAo0wod9BAObA

If anyone else knows of any websites then feel free to post below in the comments 🙂